It’s been awhile since I last wrote.The past few months have been tough. My anxiety was at full swing. It was hard to find reasons to get out of bed, let alone writing. My quest for ‘absolute perfection’ set me on path that had nothing but disappointments. No matter how glorious the reward were or how catastrophic the failure , no matter how hard I tried, it was left disappointed every time. It took me a lot of toll and time to realise that the perfection I seek for can only exist in my mind, that a world where things are only measured as 1 and 0 is virtual , that perfection and excellence are not the same.
I’m starting to realize that the world around me and the world within me is not solvable, its random . This randomness, this imperfections are what makes the world around us beautiful and interesting . And if I learn to feel fine about these aspects then I can also learn to be at peace with the variety of things I am and I have . Everything is flawed and so am I , and nothing can bring that to a closure . But even if I am flawed, I am so much more.